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Eventually, I asked her to be my girlfriend, on a sunny hilltop near the library. It was just a few days before her birthday. I gave her a little stuffed bunny and just went ahead and asked her. She was stunned. She was elated. She was horrified, all at the same time. She almost looked like she would cry."I really think you're the most beautiful guy I've ever met, and I'd love to, but..." But?" I asked, frowning, nearly panicked. I think I might have thrown up if she said no. It had taken me a whole month to work up the courage to ask her."But, my parents. Nobody knows I've been seeing you. Not a soul. We'd only ever be sneaking around forever. That's not much of a girlfriend to have. And you could have any girl you-" You think I haven't thought about that?" I told her. "I know we'd be sneaking around, but even scraps of light from an angel is better than living in darkness forever."She really did cry right then. A tear spilled out of her eye and trickled down her cheek. "You're so. When he looks at me, there’s nothing separating us. Even though everything is unspoken, there are no veils between us. Silence fills the room, except for the sound of us breathing and the sound of my pulse racing through my veins.“Yeah,” he says finally, no more than a whisper, “I’m afraid.”His honesty unmans me, clenches my guts and leaves me breathless. I want him. I tear my eyes from his, downward, to his mouth. He swallows hard. I want him so much. I see his lips part, his perfect white teeth, a hint of his tongue. My heart pounds as he leans in. I want this. Our lips melt together, hungry tongues find each other and dance together, rhythmic, tribal.Two serpents coiling together.We groan into each other’s mouths as we grind our bodies against each other. Our hips, our chests, our height, our bulk. Our sameness. It feels never-ending. Like the first kiss I ever had, I’m drunk from it, but unlike that kiss, which felt good because of the promise of what it would lead to next, this.
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